Казвам се Виктория и съм майка на две прекрасни деца. Момче В. на 3 години и 2 месеца и момиче Е. на 11 месеца.
Това да имам деца, при положение, че съм с Тиреоидит на Хашимото от над 25 години, поликистоза на яйчниците, ендометриоза, нередовен цикъл – понякога не идвал по 8–9 месеца, друг път неспиращ по над 4 месеца, го дължа на друга жена. Тя е прекрасен лекар, но не е темата на днешния разказ, а само началото на една прекрасна история, пълна с много желание, която ми показа, че почти нищо не е невъзможно и ние сме способни на много повече, отколкото осъзнаваме. И няма как да разберем за това, ако животът не ни предлага трудности, които да преодоляваме.

Първото ми неуспешно кърмене беше със сина ми – нашето първо дете.

Имах огромно желание да имам едно прекрасно и естествено раждане – за мое съжаление това не успя да се случи и се наложи да вляза в спешно секцио. Надявах се поне кърменето да ни се получи. А още от операционната зала го сложиха в кислородна палатка, а по-късно и в кувьоз. 3 дни не беше при мен. Цедях се на 3 часа, а понякога и на по-често, понеже не успявах да изкарам нищо с помпата, а на ръка само по някакви си мижави 6–8 мл, които и на трети ден си стояха толкова. Много бях притеснена – тогава нямах идея, че помпите не са моето нещо. И като майка, която няма опит в това, не усещах, че гърдите ми преливаха от кърма, но тя просто не можеше да излезе по този изкуствен начин. Още от трети ден почнах да дохранвам малкия.

В крайна сметка поради влизането му в интензивно отделение отново около 40-ия му ден малкия се отби и пищеше при всеки опит да му предложа гърда. С много мъки почнах да цедя на ръка, като успях да му давам кърма, макар и в малки количества, до година и два месеца. Дори болките в пръстите от постоянното „упражнение“ не бяха способни да ме откажат, защото знаех, че правя най-доброто за него, а това караше и мен да се чувствам добре. Но някак остана неудовлетворението от това „естествено“ и леко кърмене, което уж трябва да е заложено в нас и да става от само себе си.

И така идваме до история номер две.

На моето мечтано кърмене, което дойде, но отново не беше безпроблемно. Дъщеря ми засука по-малко от час след като я извадиха от мен. Всичко беше нереално прекрасно. Все едно го беше правила и преди. Изглеждаше като да върви добре. Бях подготвена, че първите дни, докато слезе кърмата, малката може да стои често на гърда и че това е нормално и да не я ограничавам. Първите дни бях загубила представа колко часа е. Тя беше залепена почти постоянно на гърдите ми, като плачеше при всяко отделяне.

Трети ден мина, както и четвърти, дойде и пети и ни изписаха. Нещата не се бяха подобрили и това ме притесни. Но пък наддаваше горе-долу в норма. Въоръжих се с търпение, викам си – ще стане, просто трябва да съм търпелива. Да, но не ставаше и около 10-ти ден вече усещах, че нещо не е наред. Малката изкарваше и по 24 часа на гърда, като отивах до тоалетна, тя пищеше и за съжаление наддаването почна да забавя темп, като дори имаше дни, в които спадаше.

Около 10-ия ден извиках прекрасната Йоанна. Тя ми даде съвети как да засиля малко количествата, как да редувам гърди. Обясних ѝ, че опцията за помпа при мен не стои, че нито една не е успяла да изкара нещо от мен и че даже ми създават повече проблеми. Дадох още няколко дни шанс и после реших, че е време да дохранвам. Чувствах се много зле, защото усещах, че това ще е краят на кърменето ни, а никак не ми се искаше. Исках да успея да имам едно дълго кърмено бебе.

Помня как се обадих на Йоанна и ѝ казах, че ще я храня със сонда. Тя ме подкрепи, въпреки че си мисля, че искаше да изчакам още малко. Вероятно се тревожеше, че това със сондата ще ми дойде прекалено и ще мина към бутилка и бебето ще се отбие. Признавам си, че с тръбичка към гърдата, нещата станаха още по-трудни и изтощителни.

Мъжът ми казваше, че не всичко е на всяка цена. Че мога да спра по което и да е време. И беше прав. Наистина тази мисъл, че не всичко е на всяка цена и ще мога да се откажа и дори и да го направя, малката ще получава пълноценно АМ, ми даваше още сили да продължа. Честно казано очаквах, че с това дохранване няма да му се види краят и че ще съм зависима от сондата до края.

Постепенно забелязах, че все по-малко и по-малко давах и малката пак качваше. Няма да забравя и първия ден, в който не дадох добавка. Реално за по-малко от 15 дни хранене със сонда аз бях дала на малката сили и бях успяла да увелича количествата. Оттогава насетне малката мина само на кърма и то от гърдата директно.

Няма да забравя как я теглих всеки ден, после почнах през ден, после всяка седмица и накрая как забравях дори да я претегля в края на месеца. Колко е хубаво да успееш да се справиш с трудностите в името на малкото човече и в името на това да усетиш тази магия на кърменето. Сега тя прави почти година и още не мога да повярвам, че още суче от мен.

Нямаше да се справя, ако нямах подкрепата и търпението на доверен човек и професионалист, нямаше да се справя и ако не бях решила, че ще дам всичко от себе си. И нямаше да се справя, ако не бях приела временното неудобство на хранене със сонда, за да облекча дните ни занапред. Радвам се, че успях да се доверя на Йоанна, която мина с мен през този етап. Която беше опора и за психиката ми, когато се чудих дали това ѝ стига, колко е нормално да качва и дали има шанс изобщо да се справя с това сложно за мен нещо.

Знаех, че жените с Тиреоидит на Хашимото и инсулинова резистентност могат да имат проблеми с кърменето. Имах всяка предпоставка да се оправдая пред себе си за решението си да не кърмя, но избрах да загърбя оправданията и да не давам шанс на някаква статистика да определя изборите ми в живота.

И така, една година се чувствам горда със себе си и щастлива от избора си. Макар и трудно в началото, всяко усилие си заслужава. Сега съм още по-силна, още по-можеща. Не защото бебето ми нямаше да оцелее без кърма, а защото тези малки души са най-големите ни учители. Карат ни да надскачаме себе си всеки следващ ден.

И всеки път, когато си кажа „Не мога повече“, нещо се спуква и осъзнавам, че съм едва в началото и мога още 100 пъти след това „Не мога“ и после още 100.

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Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.

It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into electronic typesetting, remaining essentially unchanged. It was popularised in the 1960s with the release of Letraset sheets containing Lorem Ipsum passages, and more recently with desktop publishing software like Aldus PageMaker including versions of Lorem Ipsum.

It is a long established fact that a reader will be distracted by the readable content of a page when looking at its layout. The point of using Lorem Ipsum is that it has a more-or-less normal distribution of letters, as opposed to using ‘Content here, content here’, making it look like readable English.

Many desktop publishing packages and web page editors now use Lorem Ipsum as their default model text, and a search for ‘lorem ipsum’ will uncover many web sites still in their infancy. Various versions have evolved over the years, sometimes by accident, sometimes on purpose (injected humour and the like).

There are many variations of passages of Lorem Ipsum available, but the majority have suffered alteration in some form, by injected humour, or randomised words which don’t look even slightly believable.

If you are going to use a passage of Lorem Ipsum, you need to be sure there isn’t anything embarrassing hidden in the middle of text. All the Lorem Ipsum generators on the Internet tend to repeat predefined chunks as necessary, making this the first true generator on the Internet.

It uses a dictionary of over 200 Latin words, combined with a handful of model sentence structures, to generate Lorem Ipsum which looks reasonable. The generated Lorem Ipsum is therefore always free from repetition, injected humour, or non-characteristic words etc.

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.